But You Are You

OF ROSS AND RACHEL

There was an episode in Friends where Rachel discovered that Ross was making an inventory of her traits and was comparing it with the traits of the other girl he was also interested in. On the negative column below Rachel's name, she found entries such as: 'no ambition', 'bratty' and 'just a waitress'. Angered by this discovery, Rachel confronted Ross and told him he could forget about her if he thinks so lowly of her. Later in the episode, however, Phoebe again showed her the list and made her read it till the end. The last entry under the positive column read: She's Rachel.

We all know the ending. It's actually one of my favorite episodes--- one of the many I watch over and over again.

I guess there's a longing in each one of us to be loved in the same manner. That is, to have someone look at the list of our good and bad traits and in the end, still have that someone say: But you're you. Therefore, I choose you.

I know I have made the same kind of list in the past. Not that it was of any consequence. But it was a good exercise, nonetheless, if only for the fact that it helped me crystallize what I was really looking for in the first place. Or more to the point, what I am still looking for in the first place.

If anyone would make the same list about me, I would more or less have an idea what that person would write below each column. What I don't know, however, is whether the last entry on Rachel's positive list would find its way to mine.

Would someone choose me simply because I am me? I don't have an answer.

But this much I know: That someone has already made a list of everything good and bad about me and chose me simply because I am me. He did it long before some character of a hit television show did. In fact, He did it even if it meant losing His own life.

And just like in Friends, we all know the happy ending.

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