can relate?
(this is an old email by a ‘friend’ about her ‘friend’, just want to post it baka sakaling may makarelate…)
=== some lines are removed to protect the identity of the persons, please feel free to leave your comments ===
===+===
When it comes to loving someone who loves somebody else, I know best. You may have probably guessed, this is my story about him.
We truly are friends. After two years of being just friends, there came the time when I felt so confused about my dealings with Him. I realized that my fondness of him grew into something deeper. He didn’t know. I didn’t tell him. If he felt it, that I never knew. I carried that for more than two years. He demanded for my presence all the time but he never seemed to value my existence.
I carried that for more than two years. It was only through prayers that I was able to overcome it. During that time there was never a day that I never prayed for him and me to end up together. Each day my desire gets stronger, my feelings more intense but as my feelings grow, my fear also grows. I’m afraid of making a decision that is only based on my emotions. I was also worried that the friendship might end when I make the wrong choice. There was even a point when I felt I have to declare my feelings to him. No matter how I toss and turn my intellect I could not come up with the most beneficial strategy. I’m glad I didn’t. I held on to my values and I surrendered it to God. I only asked Him for strength that I may endure whatever the outcome is. You know, you wouldn't really know if God already granted you the strength if He doesn't test it with difficult life situations.
Yet, it is true that when we let ourselves be carried away by our emotions, we allow ourselves to feel, say and do stupid things. Most of which we might live to regret afterwards. I had been in service of him even up to the point of literally washing his feet. Actually, he was never the ideal guy for me. There are a lot of things I don’t like about him. His behavior, his personal background, and his mindset. But maybe I disregarded those because my emotions seemed to cloud reality. I couldn’t help feeling what I felt then. I was hurt, but I couldn’t stop. I felt weak, unappreciated, under-valued, unimportant… invisible – kahit magpa-pansin hindi pa rin pansin. I didn’t like what became of me then, miserable.
God, in His goodness and mercy, made me realize that the way I was being made to feel was never what He intended for me.
Then God answered my prayers about him. I was just listening and watching as he speaks, at the same time talking to God, asking him to reveal to me his leading. Right there and then I had the courage to decide to move on. I felt that was God's leading. So I surrendered it to God. I asked God that if the feelings I have is not His will and just my own, then I allow Him to remove it from my heart. It took a little while more but its totally gone now. I still love him as a good friend, but all romantic feelings are gone. I was rigid then, but that experience opened my heart to have the courage to love even in the ugliest of circumstances. I realized that the phase I had to go through served its purpose. That my encounter with him is meant to play that role only. That he was sent to teach me about loving and being loved, but it was not meant to be anything more. With that I saw my real value...
Truly, oftentimes, God asks us to put down what we are holding in our hands because He wants to give us something better.
The point being: the people we should welcome in our lives are those that would closely emulate the love that God has for us. God’s love will make you feel beautiful. If you are miserable, then God does not want that for you. Those people sent to love us are those that will become the channel of God’s love. God-sent people will affirm you of God’s love by being the channel of that love. If no love flows from that person to you… he’s not the one.
In life, pain is inevitable but sorrow is optional… it’s always a decision. In tagalog “hindi mo maiiwasang masaktan ka, pero ang magdusa ka dahil sa sakit, desisyon mo yan.” You don’t have to suffer. Jesus already did that for you.
That is the reason why it is important to not shut down your doors on those who express interest. I’m not saying you choose the one who’s just available, but you choose the one who closely emulates the love that God has for you. If you don’t yet realize how much God loves you, then you won’t recognize the gift that he has intended for you. Again, if no love flows from that person to you… he’s simply not the one.
Keep in mind, those who seek God’s will, will find it.
So if you love this guy, just love and learn… don’t question the pain (may kahihinatnan yan)… just know you’re a work in progress.
There’s no questioning loving someone who loves somebody else. That is simply God’s design. He found his gift. My gift will find me. God designed it that way. So don’t convince yourself that the right person will come, he won’t. Believe that God himself will bring that person to you.
=== some lines are removed to protect the identity of the persons, please feel free to leave your comments ===
===+===
When it comes to loving someone who loves somebody else, I know best. You may have probably guessed, this is my story about him.
We truly are friends. After two years of being just friends, there came the time when I felt so confused about my dealings with Him. I realized that my fondness of him grew into something deeper. He didn’t know. I didn’t tell him. If he felt it, that I never knew. I carried that for more than two years. He demanded for my presence all the time but he never seemed to value my existence.
I carried that for more than two years. It was only through prayers that I was able to overcome it. During that time there was never a day that I never prayed for him and me to end up together. Each day my desire gets stronger, my feelings more intense but as my feelings grow, my fear also grows. I’m afraid of making a decision that is only based on my emotions. I was also worried that the friendship might end when I make the wrong choice. There was even a point when I felt I have to declare my feelings to him. No matter how I toss and turn my intellect I could not come up with the most beneficial strategy. I’m glad I didn’t. I held on to my values and I surrendered it to God. I only asked Him for strength that I may endure whatever the outcome is. You know, you wouldn't really know if God already granted you the strength if He doesn't test it with difficult life situations.
Yet, it is true that when we let ourselves be carried away by our emotions, we allow ourselves to feel, say and do stupid things. Most of which we might live to regret afterwards. I had been in service of him even up to the point of literally washing his feet. Actually, he was never the ideal guy for me. There are a lot of things I don’t like about him. His behavior, his personal background, and his mindset. But maybe I disregarded those because my emotions seemed to cloud reality. I couldn’t help feeling what I felt then. I was hurt, but I couldn’t stop. I felt weak, unappreciated, under-valued, unimportant… invisible – kahit magpa-pansin hindi pa rin pansin. I didn’t like what became of me then, miserable.
God, in His goodness and mercy, made me realize that the way I was being made to feel was never what He intended for me.
Then God answered my prayers about him. I was just listening and watching as he speaks, at the same time talking to God, asking him to reveal to me his leading. Right there and then I had the courage to decide to move on. I felt that was God's leading. So I surrendered it to God. I asked God that if the feelings I have is not His will and just my own, then I allow Him to remove it from my heart. It took a little while more but its totally gone now. I still love him as a good friend, but all romantic feelings are gone. I was rigid then, but that experience opened my heart to have the courage to love even in the ugliest of circumstances. I realized that the phase I had to go through served its purpose. That my encounter with him is meant to play that role only. That he was sent to teach me about loving and being loved, but it was not meant to be anything more. With that I saw my real value...
Truly, oftentimes, God asks us to put down what we are holding in our hands because He wants to give us something better.
The point being: the people we should welcome in our lives are those that would closely emulate the love that God has for us. God’s love will make you feel beautiful. If you are miserable, then God does not want that for you. Those people sent to love us are those that will become the channel of God’s love. God-sent people will affirm you of God’s love by being the channel of that love. If no love flows from that person to you… he’s not the one.
In life, pain is inevitable but sorrow is optional… it’s always a decision. In tagalog “hindi mo maiiwasang masaktan ka, pero ang magdusa ka dahil sa sakit, desisyon mo yan.” You don’t have to suffer. Jesus already did that for you.
That is the reason why it is important to not shut down your doors on those who express interest. I’m not saying you choose the one who’s just available, but you choose the one who closely emulates the love that God has for you. If you don’t yet realize how much God loves you, then you won’t recognize the gift that he has intended for you. Again, if no love flows from that person to you… he’s simply not the one.
Keep in mind, those who seek God’s will, will find it.
So if you love this guy, just love and learn… don’t question the pain (may kahihinatnan yan)… just know you’re a work in progress.
There’s no questioning loving someone who loves somebody else. That is simply God’s design. He found his gift. My gift will find me. God designed it that way. So don’t convince yourself that the right person will come, he won’t. Believe that God himself will bring that person to you.
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