do I make you proud?

Its past 130am and I can’t sleep, there is a song on my lips, well, not the entire song, just the chorus which says, "This is what we dream about but the only question with me now is, Do I make you proud?” It is sung by Taylor Hicks.

As I said my evening prayer, I asked God… when was the last time I made Him proud of me as His daughter? Or did I even make Him proud of me in 2008?

In my prayers, 75% of it was full of thanksgiving. I thank Him for almost all the people He showered me with. Inisa-isa ko sila (at baka kasama ka sa kanila J)

I thank Him for allowing my life to be an inspiration to others… for being His instrument.

Then I asked Him, did I make you proud Lord? Or it was just my assumption that you are proud of me every time I hear people recognizing my works and I missed the whole point that this is just through me and it’s from You?

I continued my prayer…

Lord, am I proud? I know, I know, Christianity is not about being proud. Baka kasi ako lang ang proud…If yes, wake me up. Hold me tight and don’t let the people, situation, position, financial blessings, recognitions caused me to be bigheaded.

With all the blessings Lord, I have a deep joy in my heart that is so deep that people don't need to see it on the surface. I thank you for the joy that remains in my heart regardless of how I feel but when it's time to be happy, I want to be happy. Ok lang naman po diba?

I know that in a Christian (pastoral) context, joy and happiness are not the same thing because the former is internal and the latter is external. Nonetheless, true happiness does not exist without the joy of the Lord. The type of happiness I desire… we all desire.

But Lord, aside from my own happiness… I also want to make you smile… I want to make You proud.

Jesus, I am far from perfect, and I am sure that I will never be called a Saint by anyone, but I am doing my best to live by seeking Your will and heeding to Your call. And one day when I stand before Your Father, I would like to hear Him say to me: Grace, you made my heart smile and make me proud of you!

I don't know what was on your heart when you went to bed last night…

But now you know mine…

Do I Make you Proud
by Taylor Hicks

I've never been the one to raise my hand
That was not me, and now that's who I am
Because of you I am standing tall
My heart is full of endless graditude
You were the one, the one to guide me through
Now I can see, and I believe
It's only just beginning

This is what we dream about
But the only question with me now is
Do I make you proud?
Stronger than I've ever been now
Never be afraid of standing out
Do I make you proud?

I guess I've learned to question is to grow
That you still have faith is all I need to know
I've learned to love myself in spite of me
And I've learned to walk the road that I believe

This is what we dream about
But the only question with me now is
Do I make you proud?
Stronger than I've ever been now
Never be afraid of standing out
Do I make you proud?

Everybody needs to rise up
Everybody needs to be loved, to be loved

This is what we dream about
But the only question with me now is
Do I make you, do I make you proud?

To listen, click here.