Yet will I hope in Him

Have you ever prayed for something or someone or have you been in a situation where you want to pray but you're afraid of how God will answer?

I remembered a conversation I had with a friend.

"Alam mo naman na LOVE ka ni Lord diba?"
“Opo"
"Do you trust that He will do what is best for you?"
"Yup."
"Even if it hurts?"
"Yes."

Another conversation I had with a brother.

“para ka lang naglambing sa tatay mo – you should be specific and persistent. Kulitin mo pa si Lord”

Since I was young I know that the "proper" way to pray is "Thy will be done," but it's not an easy thing to ask the Lord. That's where I was this past few days.
I told God honestly that I couldn't pray as I should because I am afraid of His answers to my prayers. I am afraid He would take away the one ‘thing’ I thought I wanted. The one ‘thing’ I have waited for and longed for.

Tonight, tired and sleepy, yet I ended my day with a prayer. I began to cry as I once again surrendered my life to God's control. I knew that I had to trust God, but I'm still struggling. I'm where Job was. Asking God. Fighting. "Yet will I hope in Him."