NEO is...

Today is Neo’s birthday – he is less than 100 years old! There are no big plans for today since we already decided to celebrate our birthdays together next week. Our schedule is pretty normal today – hear mass and grab a breakfast bargain at THE One Café in Jumeirah (must try!).

This is also a great day to remember 3 beautiful things I discovered about Neo:

NEO LISTENS TO GOD, TOO.

Our husbands pray. God listens and answers their prayers, too. God loves our husbands more than we love them. God plans and leads their ways and decisions. All we need to do is to trust…and pray (a lot) without ceasing, too!

I witnessed (and witnessing) how Neo consults Him in all major decisions and how he hears His answers. Guided by His love and mercy, we have God in our relationship that no matter how challenging and difficult life could be, we still choose to be together. Knowing that this is God’s plan so I became even more confident.

Submission to Neo is one of my greatest transformations. For people who know me would say that my personality is certainly strong. But when I decided to be Mrs. Acla, I choose to recognize the leadership of Neo and let him have the last say, even if I was dying inside in many of those moments. But I’M NOT DYING FOR NOTHING! I love Neo, I love Giane, I love my family! When I give up my comforts, plans, and dreams — I am not dying for nothing! Neo and Giane are so worth it.

I thank and praise God for His grace in changing me to become a submissive wife to a man who has a relationship with God, who knows how to pray and listen.

NEO IS NOT A MIND-READER

And yours probably isn't either.

This is what I learned from one of our CFC leaders. Expecting our husbands to guess how we feel is frustrating (for both parties) and unfair.

There are moments that when I am upset, I just keep quiet and would expect Neo to know why I feel it and to understand my behavior. If he doesn’t, I will get even more frustrated! Then conflict starts!

When I tell Neo about something, I want to make sure he really hears me. You know Neo, he is quiet (and sometimes he and his gadgets annoy me!). If I have something important to discuss, he makes sure to put away things to distract us – that’s our phones - to ensure we are fully in tune with one another.

I have to tell him what I feel – even if it hurts!

Also what I learned from my Psychology class that we have to name our feelings and must own them. For example, instead of saying, “You hurt my feelings;” say “I feel hurt when you did it….” The use of “I” language shows that we are taking responsibility for our feelings, and it gives our partner a chance to understand how they made us feel (not just what they did wrong).

No, our system doesn’t always work perfectly (because we’re both imperfect people) but it works better than the way things used to be.

NEO IS PART OF OUR HOME

Neo doesn’t help me at home.

Opppsss… don’t get me wrong!

He doesn’t help me because I don’t need help. I need a partner! I thank God I have Neo, my husband — a very willing partner—who is not waiting for me to tell him how he could help me. I don’t want him to be a very obliging husband and I am blowing it by playing the martyr, thinking I am better off doing it all myself and then resenting him for not contributing.

When I nurse Giane, he washes her bottles. Every week, he cleans the house. I am loving him even more while watching him playing with and cuddling Giane. He doesn’t mind changing her diaper or if I need to have my ME time.

Once I met a father who said that he has to "babysit" his child because his wife had something to do. I told him it's called "parenting" not babysitting. Because you are part of that gift – called parenthood!

Thankful for Neo who stood his ground to be the man and get our family on the right track.

Dear Neo,

As we both have prayed and believed on the day we were going to marry, this verse continues to prove itself true and alive in our marriage:

Two are better than one… for if they fall, one will lift up the other – Ecclesiastes 4:9

None of us can still guess, ever, what God is going to do next. He is an amazing God to me, to you, to Giane, and to this marriage. Blessed be His name who started this love story, and will carry it to completion.

Happy birthday, Mahal - my true companion, my perfect partner. You are such a gift, thank you, God!

I love you. I loved the three years. And will continue to love you for the rest of my life.

More about Neo here.