My Beautiful Life, Pursued by God
I love my name. The name signifies my great love story with God. I have been pursued by God so many times. I have been offered with so many beautiful and meaningful gifts, wrapped in colourful wrappers and sealed with pink ribbon. I was beautifully created by God. My parents were so delighted when I came to their lives. Indeed, a grace from God.
But along my journey, I have made my life ugly. Through the choices I made, deliberately hurting myself and more. You see, I didn’t have real dramatic-dark moments in the past, but I would say, I just didn’t know how to value my life. I didn’t see myself the way God sees me.
My parents made sure to provide me a comfortable life. They sent me to Catholic private school since kinder to college. My dad was an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW) since I was 3. I could even have all the things I needed, and sometimes what I wanted. I could say I had a very comfortable and happy childhood life. I was pampered by the people who love me and by God.
I was contented. But God wasn’t. He wanted me to improve. He wanted me to know Him more. He wanted Himself to be part of the picture I am trying to create. He wanted to build a relationship with me. He pursued me.
But I didn’t know this. I thought I was fine until a challenging situation shaken my family. God disturbed me and the relationship of my parents. My Nanay found out that my Tatay had a relationship with another woman while he was working in Dubai. As an only child, I was given the responsibility to fix the problem, to be a channel of peace, to be an ambassador of love to my parents.
I was asked to fly to Dubai to stay with Tay and Nay, leaving my comfort zone to the max. It was the most difficult decision I ever had in my life. Worries, frustrations, anxieties bombarded me. But I had to do it. This time, not for myself, but for my family.
At first, life in the desert wasn’t easy. But I had to be strong. Looking for my own purpose, God handpicked me and showed me the right path. I learned that there’s a Catholic Church in a Muslim country. Even more surprising, there’s a renewal community - there is Singles for Christ. A community I joined 2 years prior to my departure, but I have forgotten. I invited my parents to join the Couples for Christ community. Every week was like a tug-of-war tournament at home. But during these most difficult weeks were also the time God was unveiling His plans for me and my family. Thirteen weeks had passed. Finally, three of us became part of the CFC community.
Gradually, God was opening Himself to me. The courtship stage was over, I finally said ‘yes’ to His invitation, to His abounding love, limitless grace, warmth embrace and joyful kind of relationship. But you know what’s good about God is that His courtship doesn’t end when I said ‘yes’. It is up until now.
Through the community, my eyes were opened to see my capabilities, my strength and weaknesses, my needs, my importance as a woman, my value as a person. He showed and allowed me to rediscover my being. Through SFC, I was able to embrace simplicity – a life that is simple yet not deprived. Through serving Him, I learned to value the importance of relationship and having God in the centre of my life. These overwhelming emotions towards God have overflown to my parents. By attending their household prayer meetings, listening to CFC teachings, advises from their elders, they were able to forgive each other, renewed their love, regained their trust and deepened their faith to continue their life as husband and wife. They were able to accept God in their union. In August 2011, God answered my prayers - my Tatay and Nanay had their Catholic Church wedding. Whatever God did and been doing in my family, it is not for me to understand, but to accept and believe that His ways are always for the best.
This is my life. Beautifully created by God. But ugliness came my way. Great thing about living a life with the Lord is that we are always given a choice to be beautiful for Him. And every day, my love story with God allows me to glow, to inspire and to be reminded of my vocation to love and serve for love.
But along my journey, I have made my life ugly. Through the choices I made, deliberately hurting myself and more. You see, I didn’t have real dramatic-dark moments in the past, but I would say, I just didn’t know how to value my life. I didn’t see myself the way God sees me.
My parents made sure to provide me a comfortable life. They sent me to Catholic private school since kinder to college. My dad was an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW) since I was 3. I could even have all the things I needed, and sometimes what I wanted. I could say I had a very comfortable and happy childhood life. I was pampered by the people who love me and by God.
I was contented. But God wasn’t. He wanted me to improve. He wanted me to know Him more. He wanted Himself to be part of the picture I am trying to create. He wanted to build a relationship with me. He pursued me.
But I didn’t know this. I thought I was fine until a challenging situation shaken my family. God disturbed me and the relationship of my parents. My Nanay found out that my Tatay had a relationship with another woman while he was working in Dubai. As an only child, I was given the responsibility to fix the problem, to be a channel of peace, to be an ambassador of love to my parents.
I was asked to fly to Dubai to stay with Tay and Nay, leaving my comfort zone to the max. It was the most difficult decision I ever had in my life. Worries, frustrations, anxieties bombarded me. But I had to do it. This time, not for myself, but for my family.
At first, life in the desert wasn’t easy. But I had to be strong. Looking for my own purpose, God handpicked me and showed me the right path. I learned that there’s a Catholic Church in a Muslim country. Even more surprising, there’s a renewal community - there is Singles for Christ. A community I joined 2 years prior to my departure, but I have forgotten. I invited my parents to join the Couples for Christ community. Every week was like a tug-of-war tournament at home. But during these most difficult weeks were also the time God was unveiling His plans for me and my family. Thirteen weeks had passed. Finally, three of us became part of the CFC community.
Gradually, God was opening Himself to me. The courtship stage was over, I finally said ‘yes’ to His invitation, to His abounding love, limitless grace, warmth embrace and joyful kind of relationship. But you know what’s good about God is that His courtship doesn’t end when I said ‘yes’. It is up until now.
Through the community, my eyes were opened to see my capabilities, my strength and weaknesses, my needs, my importance as a woman, my value as a person. He showed and allowed me to rediscover my being. Through SFC, I was able to embrace simplicity – a life that is simple yet not deprived. Through serving Him, I learned to value the importance of relationship and having God in the centre of my life. These overwhelming emotions towards God have overflown to my parents. By attending their household prayer meetings, listening to CFC teachings, advises from their elders, they were able to forgive each other, renewed their love, regained their trust and deepened their faith to continue their life as husband and wife. They were able to accept God in their union. In August 2011, God answered my prayers - my Tatay and Nanay had their Catholic Church wedding. Whatever God did and been doing in my family, it is not for me to understand, but to accept and believe that His ways are always for the best.
This is my life. Beautifully created by God. But ugliness came my way. Great thing about living a life with the Lord is that we are always given a choice to be beautiful for Him. And every day, my love story with God allows me to glow, to inspire and to be reminded of my vocation to love and serve for love.
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